Are you boring? Has your brain never been fired by the spark of an original thought? Do you own a The Last of the Summer Wine box-set? Do corduroy and beige overwhelm you? Do you have absolutely zero regard for your fellow motorist? If you’re nodding along to all of that, we have good news. We have found your perfect car. Yes, you dullard, this is the Peugeot 3008. It is the car for the type of person who finds a korma ‘a bit too spicy’.
The Peugeot 3008 represents a slice of motoring that is best ignored. Not only are owners more boring than trying to read the instructions for a blender, they’re also idiots. People who drive the 3008 are arguably too stupid to get dressed in the morning, yet there they are, piloting a car. Cutting you up with reckless abandon and zero indication. Hateful.
The worst thing about the Peugeot 3008, however, is the fact that it’s actually not a bad car. And yes, you might read that and scoff. But trust us, the 3008 is more than not bad, it’s actually, dare we say it, quite good. But as is the way with Hi-Tec trainers, vape kits, baseball caps and Stella Artois, the Peugeot 3008 has been ruined by the people that buy it. People called Christopher and Julie, people who book their holidays according to how many tokens they could save from The Sun. The sort of people, then, that the rest of us don’t want to be associated with.
But we want to change that. We should, as a car-buying mass, take back the Peugeot 3008 for ourselves. It represents a brilliant slice of bargain motoring that while a little bit ugly, is immensely practical, relatively frugal and should you drive into a wall, safe too.
If you’re a motorist on a budget (and you are, that’s why you’re here) the Peugeot 3008 represents brilliant value. It’s a car Peugeot put a great deal of thought into. Yes, it cashed in on the crossover idea brought to life most notably by the Qashqai, but that’s not a bad thing. Especially when you consider the 3008 does it in its own way. It’s not trying to be some sort of 4×4 facsimile, it’s just a big, clever family car in its own way. A way that only the French can do.
You get oodles of space, enough for five adults, that’s for sure. And according to the images above, you also get enough space for a surf board. Useless if you live in Swindon, but still, it’s nice to know you could go surfing if the the mood were to take you. In reality, you’ll fill the 3008 with family stuff. You’ll fit it in with ease though, thanks to the nifty split rear tailgate. It’s like a pickup truck, but with a roof and less of a ‘of no fixed abode’ air.
The driver will be happy, too. First of all, there’s the space where driver goes. It’s nice, and wraps itself around you in a comforting way. It’s all well laid out, too. Well, apart from the centre armrest cubby lid, which opens the wrong way for a right-hooker. Seriously, Peugeot, would it have been too much effort to move the hinge in the name of ergonomics? That annoyance aside, it’s very nice. The people at Peugeot clearly put thought into not only how it looks, but how it feels. It’s awash with decent quality plastics and fabrics. It’s all very nice indeed.
And the same can be said for the 3008 when it comes to being on the road. It might look about as well composed and agile as a drunk bungalow, but actually, it drives well. The 3008 has clever active body management which keeps things in check. As such, it’s a nice thing to pedal along.
Engine-wise, there are plenty of choices. You could have the BMW-developed 1.6 petrol, but as this comes with a hopeless 5-speed manual that’s about as direct as stirring mud with a wet noodle, you’re probably bet to avoid it.
The 2.0HDi diesel is a good shout. And yes, we know, every time you mention diesel a penguin explodes, but the fact is these cars are built and they’re out there. You’re not doing any more harm by buying one. So plump for that, get the six-speed manual and thank us later. You get pace, you get reliability and you get over 50 to the gallon. Penguins be damned.
Okay, so buying a 3008 is to run the risk of being called boring. But that’s only going to be the case with the uneducated. The reality is that the 3008 is a good, safe, reliable, practical car that represents solid bang for your buck. There’s an image issue to deal with, yeah, we get that. But when it’s your money, your family’s needs and your desire to get as much motor for your £2,000, image doesn’t matter.
Plus, if you do buy one, you taking it out of the hands of Christopher and Julie and instead, putting into the hands of someone who will indicate, who won’t take up two spaces at Waitrose and who won’t try and join the M11 at 35mph.