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Surviving Road House…

Dalton is the boss

Road House was ’80s cinema at its best. It has Patrick Swaye, it had boobs, it had a man GETTING HIS THROAT RIPPED OUT and of course, it had cars. But what car would be the best to survive the ordeals presented by Road House? Which one had the potential to rise to the top and become the ultimate vehicular bouncer? This is an important question, and one we have spent a great deal of time deliberating. Plus, it gave us an excuse to watch Road House again, not that we need an excuse, mind.

So, let’s have at it and explore the vehicles of Road House.

Dalton’s first Buick Riviera…

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Setting the vehicular tone for the film, Dalton’s first Buick Riviera, a ’64 model, serves to thrill. But then, just as we’re getting used to its pretty face, Dalton goes and throws the keys to a homeless man. And that’s great for him, but not so good for us. We’ll never know the true potential of Dalton’s ’64 now, because there’s a homeless man called Bob living in it, as if it were some trendy Detroit Air B&B.

Dalton’s second Buick Riviera…

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Ugh, Dalton’s second Buick Riviera. This was a bitter pill to swallow. First we see him buy it, then we cut to that gratuitous shot of those amazing clam-shell headlights opening. Then, what’s this, he’s buying another set of wheels for it? Why’s he doing that? What could the reason be?

Oh, he’s deliberately bought this cool slice of Americana as a target for vandals. You see, if you’re not familiar with this film, people don’t like Dalton. He’s a nice guy and all, but his job is to turn dive bars around, which means getting rid of the rough clientele. Because they’re knuckle-draggers, they retaliate by smashing up Dalton’s car. Poor show, chaps.

Still, Dalton does buy a new screen and a new aerial for it from Red. So maybe, in another world, it did survive.

Shiny new Ford station wagons…

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Shiny, new and with zero miles on the clock. Perfect then, for surviving a movie, right? Well, no actually, as the film’s big baddie, Brad Wesley, orders one of his henchmen to drive his pick-up truck over them. This in and of itself probably wouldn’t be a big deal. However, the pick-up truck in question was Bigfoot. You know, the car-crushing symbol of all things American. Sorry Ford station wagons, you’re out of there.

The bad guy’s Eagle Premier…

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This car isn’t even remotely important, and we’re pretty sure it gets shot up at some point. We just wanted to include it because it’s so weird. You see, Eagle was a weird little sub-division of Chrysler, via American Motors. But the weirdness doesn’t stop there. The Eagle Premier was actually a Renault 25 under the panels, but it used the suspension from the Renault Medallion, which was the American name for the Renault 21. And despite being a bit French and owned by American Motors, it was actually built in Canada. Also, it wasn’t particularly good. If it was, you’d probably have heard of Eagle by now.

Anyway, moving on…

Dalton’s C126 Benz…

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Oh, right, so Dalton abuses the Buicks, but has his fancy C126 coupe holed up elsewhere for Sunday best. Very nice, Dalton. Must nice to have such a wonderful car squirrelled away. And a 560SEC at that, the proper one with the big V8. Lovely. But not so lovely that Dalton wouldn’t use it as big, wheeled, skeet-esque target for the bad guys.

Yup, he pops a brick on the gas and sends the poor coupe through a fence before it spiralled into the air, collected a lot of bullets and then blew up. Gutted. We’d have given old Dalton at least £500 for those California-tastic chrome rims.

BIGFOOT…

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Oh come on, there was only going to be one vehicle capable of surviving Road House, and it was always going to be BIGFOOT, or more specifically, BIGFOOT 7. This wasn’t a truck built for the race circuit, no, it was built especially for this movie and the $500,000 car dealership wrecking scene.

After this film, BIGFOOT 7 was seen again on the silver screen care of Tango and Cash, after which it was sold sans engine and transmission, to be used as a display truck. It later changed hands again, and now resides in the grounds of Fun Spot USA in Kissimmee, Florida. Hardly a fitting resting place for such an icon, but even sitting in an amusement park qualifies at still existing. So there you go, BIGFOOT 7 – the only ‘car’ to survive Road House.

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